Just Because
by Tijuana Pirate
Summary: A songfic (set to Weezer's Surf Wax America) set sometime after Meteor. It's about Reno when he goes surfing outside of Costa del Sol and his thoughts about his life.


Band: Weezer  
  
Song: Surf Wax America  
  
Author's notes: It might just be that I have discovered the reason why people aren't supposed to write fan-fics late at night. Heh heh heh. This is my midnight story. I can't help it; I listen to this song and I see Reno. Ah, Reno, you keep on crowding up space in my head! I'm supposed to be writing Storm Break! Instead, here's a story about Reno surfing. Why? Just because.  
Oh, and I just wanted to let you know that my knowledge of surfing tends to lean towards the general. If, in my ignorance, I cause offence, I apologize.  
  
~Just Because~  
  
*The sea is foaming like a bottle of beer*  
  
Reno scanned the ocean out in front of him. The waves were crashing against each other, their booming voices the only ones that he could hear. He felt anticipation stir inside him. He smiled.  
  
*The wave is comin' but I ain't got no fear*  
  
Hardly anyone ever came here. It was a tiny beach 3 miles north of Costa del Sol. All the tourists stayed in the relative safety of that little yuppie town. Not him. Nah, he liked it better out here where there wasn't anyone else but him, his board, and some really killer waves.  
  
*I'm waxin' down so that I'll go real fast*  
  
Reno laid his surfboard across his knees, running the wax smoothly across it. He smiled as he did so, anticipating the speed, the rush. He glanced up at the waves bashing against each other. It was a great day for surfing.  
  
*I'm waxin' down because it's really a blast*  
  
It only took a few moments. Then, he was ready. Lifting his board, he headed out into the waters. You had to have a perfect position to climb on top of one of those monsters. Sometimes, he'd actually make it and survive the trip inland. Other times, the wave would break over him, pushing him deep down into the ocean. Then, there was no up, no down, and if he wasn't quick enough. . . well, there was more than one reason nobody else came to this particular beach. Heading out into the water, Reno smiled deeply.  
  
*I'm goin' surfin' cuz I don't like your face*  
  
It was something that he couldn't explain to anyone else. It was all such a rush; the crushing waves, the salt tang in the air, the speed of it, and the dark, dark water beneath him. Elena hadn't understood it. Rude didn't get it. Neither of them would come so it was inevitably just Reno out here by himself but that suited him just fine.  
  
*I'm bailin' out because I hate the race of rats that run around and 'round in the maze*  
  
Elena wanted him to settle down. Rude wanted. . . well, who the Hell knew what Rude wanted anyways? And why should he care? Why shouldn't he spend his days out here on the ocean? Why would he want some shitty desk job down in the city? No thanks. He'd take the ocean any day.  
  
*I'm goin' surfin', I'm goin' surfin'!*  
  
Reno stood up on his board as a huge wave rose up behind him. *This is it*, he thought. Suddenly he was gliding and all he could hear was the sound of tumbling water. Everything was blue. He tried to follow the direction but suddenly. . .  
Splash. Everything was twirled around. Up was down. Down was up. Kicking forward, Reno broke free of the surface. Gasping and laughing, he went to retrieve his board again.  
  
*You take your car to work*  
  
He found it closer to the shore than he had anticipated. From his board, Reno could spy his old beat up blue pick up truck. In his mind, it had no other purpose besides getting him to and from the beach. Rude drove a sleek little black thing than could zoom him wherever he wanted to go, which was usually to and from his day job. Reno welcomed him to it.  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
He swam out deeper, looking for his next wave to catch. There was nothing better in the world. The next wave might be his last but, Hell, at least when he was here, he could still feel alive.  
  
*And when you're out of fuel*  
  
So let all the other idiots out there run around with their stupid, pointless lives. Sure, they told him that he was wasting his but he knew better. Besides, wasn't it his life to waste? He wasn't going to be one of those losers that hit fifty just to realize that it had all meant nothing. Heh, of course, that was assuming he made fifty. Reno wasn't really planning on that one.  
  
*I'm still afloat*  
  
Nah, let them all sink. He'd rather swim, thank you very much.  
  
*My buddies and their honies all come along *  
  
Maybe nobody could understand it. There were plenty of surfers in Costa del Sol. They loved the little waves and they imagined that they were catching the big thrill. Reno knew better of course. He might have told them if they hadn't of thought that he was crazy.  
  
*They seem invincible as they surf along*  
  
Still, even if they only rode the little ones, it was all the same wasn't it? That crush of the wave, that ocean frothing mass, so much bigger than you but just for that one instant. . . Yeah, the only difference that they took it all in their little cages. Their lifeguards, their safety nets. Reno knew better. The only time you really feel alive is when you're half a step away from being dead.  
  
*The sea is rollin' like a thousand pound keg *  
  
*Oh yes.* Reno thought, eyeing his next wave. It was a big one. All the strength of Mother Nature was pushed against him. Laughing low in his throat, Reno paddled towards it.  
  
*We're goin' surfin', goin' surfin'*  
  
He stood in one quick, fluid motion, deftly springing to his feet. He was really laughing now. It was incredible. He'd never taken a wave this big. One misstep and it would crush him. It snap his board and push him deep, deep down. He laughed harder.  
  
*You take your car to work*  
  
Rude could have his black car and his business suit. Elena could take her house and her 'comfortable' lifestyle. They could all have it; he didn't want any of it. He'd never wanted anything more than this. Nothing else.  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
This was all he needed. It was all he'd ever need.  
  
*And when you're out of fuel *  
  
Let them all think themselves content. Let them all have their illusions because he didn't need them anymore.  
  
*I'm still afloat*  
  
As Reno flew along, he felt something minute change. The forces that he'd been following started to work against him. He tried to readjust but. . . Reno hardly had a chance to take a breath before the sea rushed up to meet him.  
  
*All along the undertow is strengthening its hold*  
  
Everything went dark for him. The currents pulled and stretched him. He tried to find the surface but he couldn't. A sudden sense of dread settled on Reno as he sank a little bit lower. He couldn't see the surface.  
  
*I never thought it'd come to this*  
  
He glanced around desperately but all there was was dark water. Then, suddenly, there was a glimmer of light. He tried to kick up towards it but a sudden change in pressure forced him away. The light receded.  
  
*Now I can never go home*  
  
His lungs were burning. Resolved, Reno tried not to panic. He kicked frantically towards the dwindling light but the forces were just too strong. His kicks grew a little bit weaker.  
  
*All along the undertow is strengthening its hold*  
  
Reno's entire body was on fire. He'd never hurt so terribly in all of his life. Everything inside him cried out for air but he resisted the urge to breath, knowing that he'd only suck in the salty sea. He twisted and turned, trying to fight back the forces that worked against him but it did him no good. The light of the surface was less than a speck now, and dimming.  
  
*I never thought it'd come to this*  
  
Only maybe it was only his eyes that were darkening because now everything seemed paler. He was blacking out, the last rational part of his mind realized. The colour was leeching out of everything. Some distant thought kept urging him to fight but it was just too hard. . .  
  
*Now I can never go home*  
  
Reno felt his eyes closing. He was so tired. He still kicked feebly but he couldn't do it. Loosely, he let himself be carried off by the waves.  
  
*You take your car to work*  
  
Reno wondered if Rude would think about him tonight. He wondered if Elena would still make a plate for him. They liked to tease her about her cooking even though it wasn't that bad. They were supposed to have. . . spaghetti weren't they? Why couldn't he remember?  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
Hadn't Elena told him that this would happen? Would she be happy that she'd been right? Well, maybe not. . .  
  
*And when you're out of fuel*  
  
Would they. . .  
. . . miss him?  
  
*I'm still afloat*  
  
Reno tried to kick a few more times but the Turk inside him recognized what was happening. It was the last futile effort, the last ditch attack. He'd seen it so often back then. Of course, he had realized what those stupid romance authors never had; that last ditch attack was just an act of desperation, doomed to fail. Nobody won with their last dieing breath. They just died.  
  
*All along the undertow is strengthening its hold*  
  
Reno couldn't win against the tides. For a time, he'd come out on top but this time they finally had him. He probably deserved it.  
  
*I never thought it'd come to this*  
  
For a while, you can win but in the end you have to lose. He'd always known it would happen. Today, tomorrow, what did it matter?  
  
*Now I can never go home*  
  
Still, he would have liked to have had that spaghetti. He liked spaghetti.  
  
*You take your car to work*  
  
Something hard bumped against Reno's chest. For a second, it reminded him of that the one time Rude had hit him. He couldn't remember what had provoked his friend, only that it had felt like running head long into a wall. It hadn't had been an experience Reno had wanted to repeat.  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
Reno's outstretched fingers brushed something soft. For a strange moment, he had the odd thought that it was his board but it was too grainy.  
  
*And when you're out of fuel*  
  
It took the last amount of his strength to open his eyes again. The salt stung them. For a moment, all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep again but then he noticed what it was he was touching. Sand.  
  
*I'm still afloat*  
  
Sand! The thought jerked through his oxygen-depraved body. Sand! And. . . light! The surface! With a strength he hadn't known he possessed, Reno pushed himself upwards. He broke free of the water with a startling splash. Sweet, sweet oxygen filled his lungs. He breathed in deep, relishing the moment. Life, oh so sweet, flooded through him. Reno crawled up the beach slowly, every ounce of him aching. Then, he rolled onto his back, gasping for air.  
  
*You take your car*  
  
Heh, still alive. Reno couldn't help but laugh. It was a high, wheezing sound but it was still a laugh. It was just too funny. So maybe he'd still see Rude. And Elena. And maybe he'd get that spaghetti after all.  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
Reno coughed softly and rolled over spitting out seawater, a last memento from the ocean. He sat up slowly once his lungs were clear. Reno looked out to the ocean again and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. It seemed that the same shift in the tides that had saved his life and forced his board up on the beach.  
  
*You take your car*  
  
Rising slowly, and stumbling more than a bit, Reno walked forward and reclaimed his board. He looked out to the ocean again, watching the waves. They looked so. . . inviting. Maybe he really was crazy. Rude would probably think so.  
  
*I'll take my board*  
  
Reno headed back out into the waters. The sun was setting down in the west, setting the ocean on fire, but he still had some time left before he had to get back.  
  
*Let's go!*  
  
Just because, out there, it was just him, his board, and some really killer waves. 


End file.
